i just need to rant

i apologize if i am not allowed to post stuff like this... i just need to get this off my chest... so mods feel free to delete the post

i am 16m and i have a 3 yr old brother(born 2 months early and has autism)... i am homeschooled and will graduate a yr early and will also be able to graduate college faster/easier cuz of the college courses i did in high school... all my grades are A's btw

my mom is constantly breathing down my neck for when i do do something wrong. but then she just so conveniently isnt looking when i do something good. i am so fucking tired of this bullshit.

like today she was like "i smell smoke i wonder if there is a wild fire nearby" she then checks alexa, the news, and google... no fires nearby. then i say in the most calm voice ever... "there is a fire training like 2 miles away maybe they set a fire to train the trainees, since i have seen them start a controllable fire for training purposes... or maybe someone is bbq-ing" then for no reason she just goes off saying "YOU CAN ASSUME THAT... WHAT IF U ASSUME THAT THEN THERE IS A BLAZZING FIRE OUTSIDE OF YOU DOOR" ... so i just leave her alone cuz if i say somethings she is just gonna keep going... so i go eat my lunch(quietly) then a package that i am excited for comes.... after i eat i put my 1 bowl  and spoon in the sink to check my package out... then my mom says in a pissed off tone "wash the dishes k" i said in the most calm voice i can use "ok... i will wash them after open my package" i proceed to open my package then she tells me to do something after i open my packed(still pissed off btw) and i say "ok" ... then when i am done and cleanin up my package she all of a sudden goes off again like yelling at me to wash the dishes... so i just say ok(calmly) and i start to wash the dishes and emptying the dishwasher. then she goes off again how i always have an opinion how i NEVER listen to her then she goes into some personal stuff that im not going to get into. so this is like the millionth time this had happened... and every time i keep my mouth shut and dont bother defending myself. and i just got so tired of that and said in a mildly pissed off(but not blatant pissed off voice) "half the time i give my 'opinion' it just continuing the conversation. because in a conversation i should be allowed to say something" she she continues to go off about me always giving an 'opinion' and she also starts calling me a "smart-ass" so now i am pissed off and i say "at least when i give my opinion i dont yell at you"... thats basically the last thing i say but she keep going... saying i am a bitch, a bum, and a lazy live in... basically implying that i am useless... then proceeds to ask me to babysit my brother for hours

the last part happens almost everyday and the scary thing for me is that i am starting to believe her... and for the past 6 months i have been waking up everyday wishing i didnt... i am so glad to have found my best friends especially taylor(name changed)... she's also my crush and hopefully my future wife... tho i probably dont stand a chance... if it was for her, my other friends, my brother,  taylor swift, and God i wouldn't be her rn

but being best friends with taylor is not always easy... she is so perfect.... i am not kidding.... she is 1 yr older than me nd she also graduated hs early... she is the perfect daughter... so basically she is the opposite of me... and since i was like 10 my mom has been comparing me to her and her older sister... tho she wont outright say that she is comparing my but she will say stuff like "yk taylor did this..." ... "Yk taylors older sister did this..." ... "They can do this... how come you cant"... when i was little i got a little mad at her for being so perfect(i never told her this btw)... then the pandemic happened and i realized she has a much better support system than me hence her success... and that anger became pride... pride that she allowed me to be her best friend no matter how useless i am

nobody in my circle knows  about this nor do i want to tell them... so i figured to tell random strangers instead

rant over

Sounds like your mom's kind of a bitch. Mom's can be like that tho. She shouldn't be degrading to you and calling you names though. Parents are there to lift you up! However, sometimes parents get stressed and say things they don't mean and it's hard to apologize. 

I think it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. You sound patient, helpful, and smart with a good sense of humor so please stick around the planet, because we need more people like you. Sometimes you just gotta steer clear of parents and do what you can to avoid getting pressed. It sounds like maybe she doesn't deserve to hear your opinions, or at least not currently or not as frequently. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should be an asshole to your mom, mom's are great and they love us very much. 

If you and Taylor become a couple, cool, but if not, hopefully, that will be cool too. It's difficult to turn a friend relationship into a romantic one, but it certainly can occur.

99% of things you are worried about right now won’t even matter a year from now

it’s ok if your mom is a Karen. They all love us in different ways. My mom used to smoke crack when I was a kid and leave me and my brother in the car in the hood overnight on multiple occasions then pick us up in the morning like it was no big deal. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard spoiled kids complain about their overbearing moms and wanted to jump out of a moving car because of how silly they sound.

Daddy said:

99% of things you are worried about right now won’t even matter a year from now

it’s ok if your mom is a Karen. They all love us in different ways. My mom used to smoke crack when I was a kid and leave me and my brother in the car in the hood overnight on multiple occasions then pick us up in the morning like it was no big deal. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard spoiled kids complain about their overbearing moms and wanted to jump out of a moving car because of how silly they sound.

This is a very good point. It's easy to think that current problems are mountains but when you look back at them they will be nugatory. You won't even remember them! You just gotta keep pushing through. Learn from your mom's mistakes and do better when you're a parent.

This sounds literally exactly like my mom lmao. If she yells at me and I say something back in the calmest tone ever it's considered talking back even if all I said was "ok". Then again my mom has to deal with 5 of us kids. My mom calls me just about all the things ur mom calls u. My mom calls me that stuff just for being on this site 😂. What pisses me the most off is when she'll let.my brothers on the Xbox or videogames but not me with the excuse that I did something bad in the last week (which I doubt staying up till 12 am is that bad) or that I don't do anything. Which I rlly don't do much but if ur gonna use that argument it's dumb AF considering my younger brother do LITERALLY jack shit yet still get to do whatever tf they want. My mom yelled at my one brother the other day for watching YouTube... Then while she was yelling at him he told her that my other brother watches yt on his phone all the time an that she should check it. She never did lmao cuz he's the brother that literally no one can touch bc he's favored even when ur parents say they don't have favorites lmao. Welp if my rants over too. Damn that felt good

Yaaaaa, a lot of us had something similar growing up. First of all, being recognized for your faults and not appreciated for your successes is just life bro. Nobody will pat you on the back and tell you good job anymore, outside of maybe recreational sports lol. Find your positive environments where you can. When you grow up you'll learn more about why your mom was the way she was and maybe what she struggled with at the time that probably wasn't even your fault even though she seems to take it out on you anyways. All you can do is keep pushing, you get good grades, you do well in college, you get out early and from there you can make your own choices and do what you please, put your head down early and work hard like you have been. I didn't and it's a lot harder to flip that switch 10 years later when your body hurts, and you've already developed a dozen lazy habits. The #1 common factor of people who are successful is perseverance, so just keep on keeping on bud.

Man, don't let any of that get to you. It's always sad when a home doesn't feel like your safe space, but you'll be able to create your own community later on in college and your personal life. 

I hate using "you're not the problem," in advice because that implies you can't change anything to improve the situation. But seriously, a parent who uses foul language and demeaning tones when talking to their children should probably never have been a parent in the first place. 

Take good care of your brother, because later on he might be the only member of your family you want to spend time with. Stay calm, and try to stay out of your mom's way whenever possible. Focus on whatever career you want to pursue. 

Taylor seems nice, and if you're already best friends then that's a good sign. But don't stress if nothing comes of it.

https://www.childhelphotline.org/